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When you’re hung up on a previous relationship, you automatically sabotage any chance for new love. Here are some signs you might be holding on to feelings for a past flame, and how to move on from them.
You Regret Breaking Up
If you were the one that ended your relationship, you might be looking back with fonder memories than you did before the breakup. However, this doesn’t mean you and your ex are meant to be together, nor does it mean you made a mistake in calling in quits.
Part of the acceptance process is realizing your relationship had good times as well as bad. The important thing is keep it in perspective. Don’t block out all the bad times in favor of the good ones. Aim for a balanced view of your previous relationship.
You Stayed Friends and It’s Harder Than Ever
Here’s a secret: You can’t force a new friendship. Not with someone you just met on the street and certainly not with your ex. While it might seem like a great idea to remain friends after a break up, in reality it will prevent you from moving forward. There’s nothing wrong with simply wishing the person the best and choosing not to see him or her until you’re certain you are over your relationship.
You Compare New People to Your Ex
If you really want to move forward with your life you have to use a fresh outlook on the people you meet. When we first meet people, everything they do can seem strange and odd. Once we get to know them, however, all those tiny things can seem rather sweet.
So instead of looking for similarities between that new person and your ex, make a promise that you’ll get to know him or her. That way, even if they aren’t the right one, you will at least be evaluating him or her on their own qualities and not those of your ex.
Your Ex Found Someone Before You Did
If the last time you saw your ex he or she was begging you not to end your relationship, it can seem a shocking thing to see them with someone new. More than that, it’s human nature to want something you suddenly realize you can no longer have. But as hard as it may seem, be happy for your ex.
Then, get out and date! Start out casually and build your self-esteem again slowly. Think of your ex-relationship as one more lesson that will lead you to the right situation for you.
You Hate Dating
When you begin to date again, it can be a long time before you find that feeling of comfort you once felt with your ex. But don’t be fooled into thinking this means your ex was the one for you. Change means something new and different so naturally you are going to feel a bit apprehensive. But like anything worthwhile, getting back out in the dating world again will bring you that much closer to the right one for you.