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If you look back on your dating life with regret over some of the people you dated, it’s time to change that perspective. Making mistakes when you’re in your 20s is natural, especially when it comes to your dating life.
Some of the those “oops” moments are precisely what make you a smarter dater today.
You Got Shot Down by the One You Loved
So you fell in love with someone, threw caution to the wind, and told them you wanted to spend the rest of your life together. Now, all these years later, you regret it. Maybe you were feeling especially romantic, maybe you believed that they felt the same… whatever the reason, you did it and now it bugs you.
Mark Twain once said that you will always regret the chances you didn’t take, but sometimes you look back on your impulsive 20-year old self and just shake your head. What were you thinking? Expressing your love for someone might have been an impulse, but you don’t need to feel embarrassed. Maybe you weren’t reading things correctly at the time, or you “lived in your head” a little too much, but I’ll bet that after you got turned down, you paid more attention to your relationships. This slight change in tactic has probably helped you get closer to the people you’ve dated ever since.
You Stayed Loyal to One Person Too Long
When we were younger, we thought a bad situation was eventually going to change all on its own. We might have stayed with people who were self-destructive or treated us poorly, thinking that one day it was all going to be different. If you’re looking back now and seeing nothing but lost years over a relationship like this, it’s time to put away your regret and embrace the lesson.
Staying in a bad relationship taught you about recognizing the good relationships. After your first bad relationship, you didn’t sit and wonder if things were going to change when you came across another unhealthy situation, because you either knew the person was for real or they weren’t worth your time. You probably learned this valuable lesson quicker than someone that didn’t go through the things you did.
You Didn’t Take Your Chance With Someone You Loved
If you were the opposite of the impulsive 20-year old, you probably failed to take your chance with someone you were in love with. Maybe you were unsure of yourself, had a bad home life, needed some experience, or whatever the reason, and as a result let a possible relationship slip through your fingers. Maybe you just thought you weren’t good enough to deserve a great partner.
This is a hard one to get over because your mind can haunt you with the possibilities of what this relationship might have been like. But take comfort in the fact that if it was meant to happen, it would have. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t take a chance, because the reality is that you might have taken a chance and it still wouldn’t have worked out. Too often, midlife daters linger over the “what could have been” aspect of their romantic past. Mistakes are just lessons, and it’s time to take those things we learned and leave the past behind.