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Do you need a break from the dating world? The first thing to do is to decide if a true break away from it all is really in order for you. Pay attention to your habits, emotions, and expectations.
For example, do you come home from work and immediately log on to the computer in the hopes of finding some interesting online daters to email? Do you get disappointed when you don’t see new people to chat with? Is your mood dependent upon your expectation of finding someone online that day?
Or when you’re with friends, do you hound them for set ups, and in doing so turn the focus of your get-togethers to your love life and nothing else?
Perhaps most importantly, are you feeling stressed out by dating? Some signs that you need a break include:
- A sense of dread when you meet someone new.
- No longer looking forward to going on dates.
- Afraid of meeting with friends because they will ask you about your dating life.
What a Break Can Do for You
If you’re feeling a bit burned out on dating, a break can help you get reconnected with yourself. You might be trying so hard to find a love match that you’ve forgotten what makes you tick. In other words, you’ve been focusing on other things (going out, smiling at strangers, making small talk) and not on yourself.
Breaks are all about being selfish, because you deserve it and it’s good for you.
A break can help you:
- Find new hobbies you might enjoy (if you focus on the activity and not on who is in the class.)
- Spend time on things you love but don’t have time to do.
- Get reconnected with old friends.
- Remember how to flirt without the pressure of trying to get a date.
How Long Should a Break Be?
Sometimes singles declare a specific amount of time that they’d like to allot for a break, like, “I’m done with men for at least six months!” and other times they let their spirit tell them when the break time is done.
You can start out with an idea of how long you’d like to take away from dating and always change it later.
Maybe you think you’ll need three months or more, but after that time you find you could use a bit more time alone. Go for it. The break is meant to help you, not hinder your growth or your chances at finding love.
What, Exactly, Does a Dating Break Mean?
Many midlife singles feel like they need to “always be looking” in case Mr. or Mrs. Right come their way. If they check out from the dating world for a while, what does that mean? Will they have to turn down offers to go out?
To clarify, a dating break means that you take time off from:
- Looking for dates, which means no online dating (not even logging on), no talk of dating with friends who are trying to set you up, and no purposely trying to connect with someone.
- No thinking about being alone or what the future might hold.
- No accepting offers when someone asks you out. (For now.)
When to End a Break
You might find that once you officially take a break from dating, you suddenly meet lots of great people who ask you out. Turning the focus off you looking for love often means that you will attract it instead. This is especially true because you’ll be enjoying your life more and doing things you like to do, which is always appealing to the opposite sex.
Before you end your break, make sure that:
- You’re not doing it just because you want to go out with someone you just met. If you want to get to know them better, go out casually with them a few times before ending your break.
- You’re feeling lonely and think that ending the break will help. You can help alleviate loneliness by establishing deeper connections with friends and family, and actively getting engaged in new activities.
- You’re feeling strong and healthy, and that your spirit has a renewed sense of purpose.
At the end of your break, you should feel positive about life, and about meeting new love if it comes your way.