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Have you chosen to stay single? While some midlifers choose to stay single after a divorce or breakup, others have chosen never to marry. Marriage is a personal decision and it’s not right for everyone.
Getting Over Society’s Expectations
Some midlifers feel as if they “should” get married and have kids because it’s “what people do.” Society sets the expectation that you aren’t quite an adult before you have married and/or started a family. This bias can come from everyone in a midlifer’s life, including their closest friends and family members.
The constant questions about your dating life can weigh on you until you believe that you should hurry up and find someone. Learning to counter questions and live your own life despite the expectations of others is a hard thing to do.
People Chose to Remain Single For Different Reasons
Some midlifers might have married at one point, but they just never found some special enough to share their life with. Other singles were in long-term relationships that ended in midlife, and as a result they weren’t keen on getting married after that.
One forever single, blogger and author Eleanore Wells, said, “I chose to remain single because, though I love having a boyfriend, marriage always seemed really hard and rather boring. I can’t imagine being with one person my entire life. I also felt that being married would stifle me. In addition, I’ve come to learn that I really like my space/solitude and it’s important that –when I’m in a relationship– one of us goes home. That could make marriage tricky.”
Very true. Love doesn’t always mean compatibility. But single life doesn’t necessarily mean being alone either. Many singles have stayed in long-term relationships and do not feel the urge to “make it official.” Others just like the freedom that staying single provides.
Dealing With the Downsides of Being Single
While being single has many benefits, there are also some downsides that midlifers deal with. Wells said, “I sometimes don’t like going to events unescorted, I don’t have anyone to carry heavy things or move stuff around for me, I have to pay someone to fix stuff around the house, I don’t always have someone to share my good and bad news with.”
One key to successful single living is having a support system of some type. Good friends and family members can help during the times when you don’t feel like being alone or need help. If you choose the single life, know that isolation doesn’t have to be a regular occurrence. Learn to reach out when you’re feeling lonely, and find friends who share your interests. Happiness is found when you’re comfortable with your life, regardless if you’re married or single.